Ambush Grief & Coping Strategies
Have you ever been ambushed by grief?
Perhaps you’re at a restaurant with friends, or having Christmas dinner surrounded by family, or driving past a particular location when all of a sudden you are overcome with grief. Tears may well up and fall before you can stop them, or a sob may catch in your throat while you are talking about something totally unrelated. Ambush grief can even startle you when there are no obvious reminders of the one that you lost. If this has happened to you, it can feel like there is no way to cope other than to run and hide, or try to stuff your grief down deep inside so that it doesn’t happen again. We wanted to offer you some practical strategies to keep in mind the next time you experience ambush grief: Feel it, Express it, and Move Through it.
Give yourself permission to feel grief, even when it hits out of nowhere. If you’re not in a place where you can do that - quietly excuse yourself. You’re allowed to! If you were having a great time, or a moment of peace before grief ambushed you, you weren’t doing anything wrong.You can feel joy and grief at the same time. They don’t cancel each other out. Ambush grief jumps in for a moment and grabs your attention. Acknowledge and feel it.
Allow yourself to express your grief - cry, scream in a pillow, ask for a long hug while you cry, pray, or journal what you are feeling. Let the tears come, and express what is behind them. If there are no more tears at a given moment, it is still productive to express this grief that washes over you. These emotions are real and overwhelming but you can help your body to process and digest them more easily by putting words to what you are feeling.
Move through what you are feeling - It’s important to feel your grief, and not to get stuck in it. If you know you have a tendency to seclude yourself when you’re grieving, then reach out for support from others in these moments, and during any of the difficult challenges that come your way while learning to live with grief. If you know you are susceptible to falling back on unhealthy habits, then try your best to set yourself up for success by identifying ways to cope that you will be proud of using. Have an abundance of grace for yourself as you grieve, and know that ambush grief is temporary. It’s like a wave that washes over you, it will just as certainly ebb away. You can keep moving, and it won’t take you out even if it feels like it will for a few minutes.
Ambush grief is a very common experience for those who have lost a loved one. If you experience this, it doesn’t indicate a lack of progress in your healing, it indicates that your heart is broken and trying to cope with a loss that is profoundly painful and difficult to cope with. But you are indeed coping, and if you need extra support to cope better, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us or schedule a free consultation call.
